miracles can and do happen

meet my granddaughter.  she is almost 16 months old.  this is how she fell asleep this morning while sitting on my lap. 
as i sat there watching her sleep, a millions thoughts entered my head. 

here are just a few of them

~this is one of the reasons i get up every morning
~this is one of the reasons i am working very hard to keep everything in check
~this is one of the reasons i feel blessed
~this is one of the reasons i am glad i didn't listen to the doctors
~this is one of the reasons i try not to get depressed
~this is one of the reasons i'm glad i listened to my doctor

there are times, as you all know, when some days are just too much.  you don't have the energy to get out of bed.  when you wish D and everything that goes along with it would just piss off.
just before Christmas of last year, i found out that the pains i had had for about 7 months were not indigestion.  they were angina, and i was about to have my life turned upside down.
january 6th i had an angiogram done, and that showed several blocked arteries.  basically they told us that i was a heart attack waiting to happen.  scary thought.  i was not worried about my husband or my kids.  they are adults, they can deal with things.  i was, however, worried about my 2 grandchildren.  they were 5 and not quite 1, and  didn't want them to have to grow up without their Nan.  so on january 10 i underwent triple bypass surgery.  it wasn't easy, and i realized shortly after how blessed i am.  my family was with me every day.  my youngest daughter came home from college for Christmas and decided to take the remainder of the year off to be home to help me.  my husband did the grocery shopping every week for the first time in 28 years.  (i did write lists, and he did call occasionally from the store for clarification).  my oldest daughter cooked meals, and drove me to all my appointments.  my son bought me books to keep me occupied and visited often.  and my grandkids made me smile.  they gave me the push i needed to really step up and take ownership of my diabetes and my heart.  i love them dearly and i cherish every day that i wake up and get to watch them grow, and learn.  i babysit for my daughter and i love the fact that i get to play with them everyday.
they gave me the strength to start using a pump after 36years with diabetes.  they save me everyday.

my miracle <3