i think i'm a little depressed. or maybe i'm just mad at myself.

today was my Endo appointment. 

i am not feeling great about it.  i mean, i really like him.  and i like his nurse.  but the results were not
stellar.  and so i think i am feeling a little depressed by my results. 
the hard part about this is that i don't think Diabetes has ever made me feel depressed before.  seriously. 
i think the reason for that is simply because i never really gave a shit before.
wait, wait, just listen for a minute.

since i started really caring about my Diabetes probably about 2 years ago (after years of neglect and denial and ignorance), things have been getting progressively better.  my A1c's have been steadily dropping.  my kidney function was iffy(just found that out today too), but had improved steadily since last year.  my cholesterol and blood pressure were awful, but since i started seeing Dr. P and he told me to think of those meds as my kitchen tools, both were coming down to a good level.

today, my BP was good, but my LDL had crept up again.  i blame it on being lazy about taking my pills lately.  oh and i have rekindled my love of eggs.  and cheese.  my HDL was still good.   my liver function is good, but my A1c had crept up to 7.7  I seem to have had quite a few high morning #'s and that makes him think of lows between 2am and 5am.  i am unaware of lows most of the time, but i am seriously such a deep sleeper i rarely hear my pump alarm reminder.  so i have to set mine and my husbands alarm and get up and test!  

i am seeing a Kidney doctor at the end of this month, so i know that whatever may be going on there will be well looked into and i will be in good hands. 

it's the damn A1c that has me all in a kerfuffle.  i am not happy.  i am trying to push it to the back of my mind, but it keeps sneaking up.

Dr P. was okay with it.  he was not angry or aggressive (like some other Endo's i've seen have been).  he told me i was doing great and we just needed to do some tweaking.  he told me not to stress, i was doing fine.  

so i have decided to lower my carb intake.  give eggs a break (haha!), and cut the cheese(oh brother!) out of my diet.  i am going to increase my level of activity, and start eating more almonds again. 

i figure that if i do these things, even if i just do it a little at a time over the next couple weeks, then i should notice a difference.

he suggested doing a few middle of the night tests a couple days a week for the the next 3 weeks till i see my DEC ladies.   then with my pump download in hand, we will look at things and see if there are some areas that need a little work. 

hopefully, if i follow through with my plan, i will have a better A1c, lower cholesterol, and maybe even weigh a little less when i go back in 4 months. 

any suggestions for some yummy low carb foods/snacks (i love my chips) would be greatly appreciated!