today i looked in the mirror and......

todays prompt from WEGO Health is Stream of Conciousness Day.
start with this phrase: “Today I looked in the mirror and…” (Or another sentence you come across.) But sure to – Keep writing. Don’t stop for 15 minutes. Don’t edit. Post. Go!


today i looked in the mirror and i wondered how i got here.  i guess what i mean by that is...i don't know.  i am going to be 50 this year.  how did this happen?  where was i when all this time passed?  so many things have happened to me over the years.  i became Diabetic when i was 12.  i ignored that for many years.  i met my husband when i was 16.  i married him when i was 19.  i had my first child when i was 20.  my second at 22 and my third at 27.  i moved away from family and friends when i was 26.  new city,  new jobs, new friends.  life was good!  my 3rd child was born here, in our new city.  financial times were tough, but it's only money after all.  children grow and leave home.  they begin lives of their own.  when i was 42 i went to our family reunion, and ended up with an infection in my toe.  this led to cellulitus, and hospitalization.  this was the beginning of the road to my eventual open heart surgery.  i look around me and i am thankful for what i have.  i have a nice home, i have benefits to cover my medications.  i live in a province that assists it's diabetics to live healthier lives by covering pumps and supplies for every age group.  i have a loving family, and we are very close.  my grandchildren are at my house every day!  they give me the encouragement i need to take better care of myself, and they don't even know they are doing it!  without them, i may still be neglecting my health.  i may not have asked my doctor about what i thought was heart burn.  i may have just continued to "treat" with antacids, and suffered the "massive coronary" that the doctors said i barely avoided. 
i looked in the mirror this morning and realized i am very lucky.  lucky to have found the DOC and met the amazing people here.  i guess i got here through sheer stubborness!  and i can only hope to have another 50 years in which to enjoy the many new and exciting adventures that lay ahead!

the evolution of me

today is Day 11 of HAWMC.  i must say i am amazed at myself for getting this far!  today's prompt was 

Theme song. Imagine your health focus or blog is getting its own theme song. What would the lyrics be? What type of music would it be played to?

and although i love music, both listening to and singing, i just couldn't come up with a theme song for my blog.  i struggled with ideas last night.  i even asked my daughter to help.  nothing seemed to click. 

so instead i chose one of the Early Bird prompts.   


i used to be young but i'm not anymore

i used to be thin but i'm not anymore

i used to be sick but i'm not anymore

i used to be ignorant but i'm not anymore

i used to  be angry but i'm not anymore

i used to be afraid but i'm not anymore

i used to be sad but i'm not anymore

i used to be unaware but i'm not anymore

i used to be shy but i'm not anymore

i used to be alone but i'm not anymore!!

i used to be quiet but i'm not anymore!!

time ticks on............

Day 10 of WEGO Health Blog HAWMC's challenge asks you to write a letter to your 16 year old self.

Instead, i decided to write the letter to my husband, who at the time was my 17 year old boyfriend.




Hey you!

so i decided to write you a letter.  this is not the typical "love letter" that a 16 year old girl writes to her boyfriend.  now before you get all freaked out i am not breaking up with you. 
i am writing to you from the future, so you kind of have a heads up on whats in store if we continue dating. 

you already know about the diabetes, but what neither of us know is the toll it will take. 
we will get married, have kids (3of them!!) and move to another town.  things will be difficult at first with no family or childhood friends nearby.  jobs won't be easy to come by and we will have struggles.  doctors are also hard to find.  we are in the midst of a huge shortage of doctors in our town.

money is tight and the drugs i need to manage my diabetes are expensive.  sometimes i have to make decisions based on what i think is most important.  the decisions i make eventually come at a cost to myself.  but because i feel fine, i pay no attention.

time ticks on.

eventually,  in 2001, after 27 years of living with D, i will go on MDI's (multiple daily injections).  up until that point i had only been doing 1 needle a day.  at some point, a countdown had begun in my body, and things were happening on the inside that the outside was not aware of.

my eyes start to betray me.   i need laser surgery because of Retnopathy.
my legs and feet start to betray me.  Diabetic Nueropathy has begun.
then my heart has had enough.  Triple Bypass surgery. 

all this and i'm not even 50 yet!

but it's not all bad.  we have an incredible family!  we are close, and supportive of each other.
3 great kids, a great son-in-law and daughter-in-law,  2 wonderful grandchildren.  we have awesome friends and through it all we still love each other. 

you are strong, and when it all comes down to it, you are a big old softy.

you are my rock, and i hope, after reading this, you choose to stick around.

it'll be a helluva rollercoaster ride, but you always did like the rides at Canada's Wonderland!

love,
kim (from the future)